Lost Love?
by ReSch27
Summary: Pure Wheeler and Linka! Linka fights still with her feelings and hurt Wheeler and herself with it. Will she still see the truth!


I awoke on saturday morning with an idea. I had directly begun to write and this came out. I don't know it is an rated M – Story but I want to be on the safe side. It is pure Wheeler and Linka, so don't say I have not warned you ;-)

I hope it pleases you somewhat and that you can understand my bad english 

And as usual: Captain Planet is not my own. I profit of these story in no way!

**Lost Love?!**

The sun went down on the horizon and the whole island was red from her last beams. Linka sat at the beach and spinned her cell phone in her hands and waited of a message from Wheeler. Again and again she considered if she should write him one, but she didn't do it.

He was gone because of her. Two weeks were passed off and Gaya couldn't tell her, when he would come back home. But she missed him so much.

Only the fact, that he was gone for indefinitely time-as well it was work and he came surely at some time back-showed her how much she needed him and it had destroyed all her doubts.

How had it come to this? Why had she let him leave?

_A storm surprised the Planeteers in the common-room. It was night and nobody would go across the rain and the thunderstorm to his hut. So they had with the time by watching TV fallen asleep on the sofas and armchairs._

_As Linka awaked, her head lay on Wheelers shoulder and his arm lay around her waist, his hand on her hips. She took a breath, enjoyed one moment the scent from his body mixed with his deodorant. If Wheeler awaked and found she so, it would be awkward, and so she stood up, to prevent that._

_She went to the kitchen and drank a glass of water, while she looked out the window and watched at the storm. So she couldn't see that Wheeler is woken up and came to her. As he took a glass out from the locker she registered him and turned to him._

_"Hey Babe. We have much to do tomorrow, hm?" said he as he looked out of the window and the disorder the storm had made. He filled his glass with water and drank._

_"It seems so, da. I hope I don't wakened you?"_

_"Oh, only the fact, that I missed something", he said with a grin."If the others wouln't be here, it would have been a very nice evening."_

_"Because we are fallen asleep by watching TV?"_

_"Because you were so near to me."_

_"Wheeler, I…" she said, but she found no words, as he stroked a wisp of hair out from her face. It was his touch, as his fingers stroked from her ear to her cheek, and it felt like fire-it felt so well. She saw him in the eyes, would tell him that this was no good idea, but she couldn't, because of the expression in his eyes-pure tenderness and love. It was as if she could look into his soul and Wheeler used the opportunity and laid his lips on hers._

_She felt he waited that she would push him away, and his surprise at the next moment as she laid her hands to his neck and rejoined the kiss. He pinned her body at his and she forgot all around them, lost the sense for the reality, while her heartbeat went faster, her blood streamed like fire through her veins and she couldn't longer think rational. Her head send out only the one message: Wheeler, only him…all of him!_

_As they heard Gi's voice, they parted and Linka blushed. She would gone a step back, but she couldn't because of the kitchen-lockers. Wheeler saw it and he went a step back, as Gi came around the corner._

_"Here you are. The storm is over", she said with a smile._

_"Then we can go to bed", said Linka and went past by Wheeler. He griped her hand and opened the mouth, but she didn't let him say anything, then she said at first:"Good night, Yankee." She didn't looked at him, but he unclasped her hand and she gusted out of the common-room._

As she remembered the kiss it tickled in her stomach and her heart went faster. She had to remember the development of their relation: The first four years he had ever tried to got a kiss from her and she had always dismissed him. But in Russia she had kissed him-she didn't know, what she brought to it. She was at this time already in love with him, but she couldn't see it, or wouldn't?

After this day he had stopped to hassle her. He were be more calm and prudent. She could speak with him and he knew her better, how her own family or their three friends together. She felt very comfortable by him; he can always cheer her up, if she was sadly; calm her down, if she was irked; he solaced her with words or a hug, if she needed it. He was fledged and not only externally a wonderful man.

If it gave a stronger feeling as Love, she felt it for Wheeler. He was gone and it seems to her, that he took a part from herself with him. She tried to distracted herself with books and work, but her thoughts came always back to him, and with every day that goes by, and she didn't heard something from him, her fear grew more and more, that he never would get home or he got to know someone else and she had lost him.

She didn't had want to ventured their friendship, that's why she didn't had the brave to admit to the love, to risk it-and that is why she had lost him.

_"Linka?" she heard a familiar voice across the door three days later after a short knock on the door and she asked him to come in."I should call you for meal. Gi cooks a new recipe. She…", said Wheeler as he came in, but he stopped as he saw only her legs look out from under the bed._

_"I'll come", she said and came with a shoe out under the bed."Oww", she wailed as her head slapped on the edge of the bed and she rubbed the spot while she swear in russian._

_"Let me see this", said Wheeler with a grin and she let him."That became a large bump, you should cool this", he said and kissed the spot. Linka boggled, although or just because it felt so good?"Lin, what is your problem?"_

_"I don't know of what you speak."_

_"Babe, please, do you think that I am such an idiot?"_

_"I never have thought that you are an idiot."_

_"You have said it often to me."_

_"But I don't meant it. I wouldn't do that."_

_"It gives many things that you not want."_

_"What do you mean?"_

_"The kiss three days before, but you enjoyed it, I think. So I must be the problem. What is wrong with me?"_

_"Nothing. You are not the problem, not direct."_

_"What is it? You don't like me? I am not good enough for you?"_

_"Wheeler, of course I like you, more than you think…"_

_"Where is then the problem? I had really the feeling that you wanted it, as I kissed you."_

_"Da, but it could all destroy between us."_

_"What is that again to mean?"_

_"If it not work…between us…We are colleagues and friends, and our friends are the same. It would never be the same…"_

_"Oh shit", he sweared and could his anger just tersely to bridle."If you ever think `how would it be if…', you'll die as an old spinster. What if it do work? What if we are intended for each other?" he asked and Linka said nothing. He used it and took her in his arms._

_She saw full of expectation in his eyes._

_He kissed her again, but at this time short and tenderly._

_"Don't say, that you don''t like it", he whispered as he kissed her neck and Linka could just agree with an sigh, because she lost herself completely in the revolt of her feelings, that made his lips on her skin."So it could be always, Babe. Why don't you think only at the now? I can make you happy. That is all what I want",he asked and kissed her on the lips again._

_Reluctantly her mind fought with her heart and won, as Wheelers words sunk in in her consciousness and she was aware of the fact how willingly she gave herself to him._

_"Nyet Wheeler. Please, stop."_

_"Just one moment",_

_"This could be one too much", she sighed as his lips found a sensitive spot on her neck and brought her to shiver. But Wheeler heard her words and saw at her bewildered._

_"What do you mean by that now?" he asked as she stepped back from him, to obtain a level head._

_"That goes too fast for me. You come more and more closer to me and so closer you come to me, all the more I want you. I'm scared of this."_

_"That make no sense for me."_

_"Before three days, and just now too, you have made me with a bare touch will-less. I don't know if I can cope it, if…thathappens and I'm not ready for that."_

_"Do you want to wait unless the marriage?" he asked and she looked surprised at him."I mean, if your religion or intents forbid you that and you're afraid of you maybe can't behave yourself…You know, that I am the latest man, who would hurt you or do anything to you, that you don't want too. I would watch out, that nothing happens. I can behave myself, Babe."_

_"That's it not, Wheeler. You know how controlled I am, but you let me lose the control of all my feelings and my body. What if, it is just physical? If we are just sexual attracted to one another and we therefore disintegrated sometimes. Nyet Wheeler, I couldn't bear that, you're my best friend. It would change everything."_

_"Damn Linka. Six years we know each other. From the first day you were the one and only for me and now you tell me, that I wasted my time? You play for years with me and now you jerks my heart out of my chest? Why have you waited unless I am unconditional your's? Why can't you tell me this before four or five years, that I have no chance by you? It had would be so far as easier…" He broke off, because he couldn't found words in his pain._

_Linka saw the pain in his eyes and that they were filled with tears too, and she felt tears in her own eyes."You're so wonderful Wheeler, but I…"_

_"Yes, you. Damn Linka, do you know what you do to me? I know that you felt something for me, I see it in your eyes, if we are alone; I have felt it, as we've kissed. I know you, Lin. You would never kiss a man, and not so above all, if you felt nothing for him. And you hurt me and yourself, because you are scared off of your feelings, don't want to risk something?!"_

_"I'm really sorry, Wheeler", she whispered with a quietly._

_"Yeah, me too", he said and wiped off his tears, as he left her._

It was the last time, she had seen him. He was still at the same evening gone to Gaya. Ma-Ti should at the next morning go alone on a undercover-mission, but he asked her, if he could go. Gaya consented and since then Linka heard from Wheeler only from the others, those he send still messages, or from Gaya, that he was alive and healthy. He didn't send her one message and said nothing to the others for her.

She had broken his heart and that he now stayed away, broke hers. This was the situation, that she had tried to prevent with her decision.

She couldn't longer sit here and do nothing. She had to talk with him, had to tell him, that she had recognized, that she had made the greatest mistake of her life, as she dismissed him. She needed him and knew, that she never more could or would live without him, but she had recognized that too late. But she wanted to make it good again. She had to find Gaya, to found out where Wheeler was.

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Linka knocked hesitantly on the door and waited. Slept he yet? It was after eleven at evening. What, if he had found another girl and she was with him? She couldn't bear that.

The door opened and Wheeler stood in front of her only with his shorts and looked overslept. She had woken him up, then he need a moment to realize who she was.

"You?!" asked he unbelieving.

"Hey", she said shyly and fought down the heartbeat, that rushed in her chest as she saw him."I had to see you. Can we talk?"

"Why? Want you still more trample on my feelings", asked he sarcastical and Linka sprang tears in the eyes.

"Wheeler, please," she implored and Wheeler let her in. He closed the door behind her and went to the kitchen of his apartment. He filled two glasses with water and handed her one, as he sat down on the sofa. With a glance he invited her to sit down and she do it beneath him.

"What do you want?" he asked, but Linka didn't answered him."Linka, I am here because of you. If you have nothing to say, it will be better you go again."

"Nyet." She looked terrified at him. She searched only for the right words. She can't go away, before she had said, what she wanted to say."I hadn't it any longer endured at home. I have my cell phone with me all the time and I see at it almost each minute, too see, if I have reciption or you have yet still written a message. If the others wouldn't say to me, that it goes you well, I would really at the last week become crazy."

"Hm, well is relative. Are you here to make me a guilty conscience about the fact, that I didn't called you."

"Nyet. I only want that you let me say what I want to say. Then I will go." He made a move with his hand to invite her to speak along."I have made the greatest mistake of my life, as I said that to you. I had deceived myself, because I don't found the courage to stand to my feelings. You're right. You know that my mother died early and my father was so sadly of it, because he loved my mother so much, that he is perished therefore. I swore to me never someone so to love, how my father had loved my mother, that he could destroy me if he left me…And then you came into my life and you break the wall piece by piece, that I built around my heart and you have finally it totally captured. It made me fear, because I can't resist me of that and your touches make me totally crazy, let me all forget…I know, that I have hurt you, I have seen it. That's why I don't will you implore to forgive me. I'm just come here to explain my reasons and that I have seen my mistake. Maybe you can forgive me sometimes, I hope it with all of my heart."

"You know, that my parents were not exemplary for me as well?!" he said quiet and she nodded sadly. It could only mean that he had no understanding for her.

"I know. It will be better, if I go. All the less you have to see me, all the faster you can forget me maybe, if it is that, what you want", she said and stood up.

"Oh Babe. You don't know how seriously I mean it with you?" he asked and she spinned surprised around."If I didn't can have you, I can go into an cloister. Since six years you're the only for me and you'll be ever. I can't never forget you, and I don't want it. I love you, more than anything or someone else in the world." He had so soft-spoken and with such a pain in his voice, that Linka didn't know what she should do. She had like to hugged and kissed him and never unhanded him. But wanted he that too? So she stand just in front of him and saw in his eyes."Say me, what you really want. Never mind what it is, I will manage it, but I ask you only still this time," he said quietly.

"You. I want only you Wheeler", she whispered so quietly, that he almost didn't understood her. He stood up and went to her and she looked him, if he stood in front of her, in the eyes.

"As friend?"

"Da", said Linka and again was pain in his eyes."My boyfriend. I love you Wheeler, so much that I can't find a word, that is strong enough to describe it." She saw in his eyes, tried to see something of his feelings, but there was nothing, no angriness, no pleasure, no teariness.

Unless he laid his hands on her cheeks. There was it, all his love for her beamed at her with an smile, before he kissed her softly. She looped her hands at his neck and she felt his hands slide down her arms to her hips. He pinned her body on his and deepened the kiss. His hands stroked above her back, hips and arms. She let her hands slide over his shoulders, chest and belly; enjoyed the feeling of his gently skin and his hard muscles under her fingers, and the shivers that had possessed of his body.

He ceased from her lips and they catched their breath, before he laid numberless kisses on her cheek and her neck. He found an sensetive spot and she sighed quietly, as she pushed herself tighter on him, laid a hand on his cheek and turned his face to hers, so that she could kiss him again. It was fantastic what he do with her and with her feelings. How had she could this refuse? She want never forego of him, or of to be with him like this.

"Wheeler…" she sighed, as his hands slipped under her shirt and she could feel it on her bare skin.

"I know, I'm sorry, I had not…" he said and pulled his hands away, but she interrupted him with a kiss.

"I want you Yankee, now", she said on his lips and he saw at her sceptical."Really", said she with an smile and it was convincing.

He took her on his arms and brought her to the bed, laid her on it and kissed her again as he laid on top of her. His hands wandered again under her shirt and shoved it up. He pulled it over her head.

"Are you really sure, Babe?" asked he quietly.

"I was never surer, Yankee", said she and kissed him again.

It was enough to destroy his doubts and gave himself passionately to the wonderful women underneath him. They immersed into a world full of love and passion, far away of any reality.

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As Linka opened her eyes she saw Wheelers face and smiled happy. The reminder at last night came back and she felt an pleasant tiredness in her limbs. It was so magically. It seemed that they had not only combined their bodys, but also their souls. If she had one thing learned from the last two weeks and the last night, then that she could no longer live without Wheeler. He had become a part of her and if she ever lost him, it would her destroy irreversibly. She was as addicted to him as her father to her mother; but she couldn't longer find any worse at it. It was ineffable and wonderful and she would that never more miss.

"Babe?" asked Wheeler quietly and she saw at him. He had to observed her, because he looked worried at her."What are you thinking about?"

"Above us."

"You regret it? I …"

"Sshh Yankee", she said with a smile and gave him a short peck on the lips."I would never regret it. It was so…wonderful. I love you."

"I love you too, so much", he whispered at her lips and kissed her.

Wheeler groaned frustrated as his cell phone rang, before he took it.

"Wheeler, I am sorry, if I disturb you, but Gaya said that Linka would at yesterday go to you and she is not back at home and I can't get her on her cell phone. Do you know where she is?" said Gi anxiously.

"Gi, she is a big girl", he said and smiled at Linka.

"Was she with you?"

"Yeah."

"What have you said?"

"This and that."

"Wheeler I am really afraid of her. You don't know how she was the last two weeks. Do you know where she is or not?"

Linka had heard any word from her friend and as Wheeler was now looking at her with a question in his eyes – he don't know how many he should or was allowed to say – she smiled and took the cell phone from him.

"Hey Gi. You don't have to worry any longer. I am okay, thank you", she said and Gi didn't know for one moment what to say.

"Linka?" she asked, as she had found her voice again."Are you still by Wheeler or again?"

"Still."

"And you feels well?!"

"Very well, Gi."

"Very well, oookay", said Gi and Linka could hear her grin."When do you two come home?"

"I don't know", said she and looked at Wheeler.

"When you want to, today, tomorrow, next week", he said with an mischievous grin.

"What is with your order?"

"Since three days finalized." She looked at him in surprise, before she speaked to Gi again."I think we will come today back, Gi. Bye."

"I can hardly await it", said Gi and Linka gave the cell phone back to Wheeler as her friend had hung up.

"So you're finished since three days?!" said Linka thoughtful.

"Babe, I couldn't come back home. You had said, that you don't want me, not so. I couldn't see in your eyes, unless I had the fact resigned. It would been too painful for me, too difficult."

"How long have you wanted to stay here?"

"Not any longer. I had myself put up with it, but I was never get away of it. So much luckier I am that you came to your senses", he said with a grin and she can't even be angry at him-he had to be right.

"I'm really sorry, Wheeler."

"Let us forget what happened, hm? The only fact that counts is, that we are together", he said and kissed her as she nodded.

"I let you never again go Yankee", she sighed at his lips.

"Never again? You mean, that you can bear me such a long time?"

"At least so long", she said with a smile and kissed him again.

"Marry me Lin", he whispered in her ear, after he had covered her neck with kisses.

"What have you said?"

"Want you to marry me?" asked he and she looked surprised at him."I am lost without you Babe. I need you and I want you, for ever. My life have no sense without you."

"You are serious?" she asked and he nodded. She was fully surprised and don't knew for one moment what to say. She were serious too as she said, that she would him never let go; she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, she couldn't imagine a future without him. They belonged together, but if he had not asked, she had still not thought at marrying.

"Babe, I don't await a answer from you. Let us forget that I have ask you, if it is upset you."

"Stop the nonsense Yankee. Yes, I want to marry you", she said and he kissed her, luckier than ever before in his life.

"I can't believe it. You don't know, how happy you makes me."

"Yes I do. I am at least so happy as you."

"I love you Babe."

"Don't say it Yankee, show me", said she with a smile, as she pulled him at her and kissed him.


End file.
